


Thirty (Three) Years

by cottoncandyhurricanes



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Insecurity, Kid Fic, M/M, Soul Mates AU, Unfinished, first star trek fic, not in the tumblr sense though actually, they save each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-08-27 23:04:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8420602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cottoncandyhurricanes/pseuds/cottoncandyhurricanes
Summary: Spock is eight years old, when he realizes that he is unique. And, he notes, that his uniqueness is not a handicap. Jim is fifteen, when he realizes that escaping his identity isn’t as easy as packing up and leaving.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! *dodges stones* I'm back with a new one... and it's a new fandom! Please don't kill me! I'll have another chapter of Deluge up once my scores improve ;-;  
> I've seen a couple of these before, but I wanted to take my own spin on it. It's unfinished, though! later parts will deal with the actual movies, all the way up to beyond. I promise i'll get more specific from there. Suggestions maybe? It's definately going to be Spirk, but if this is something I like I will tie in more characters in other works...maybe make a series. No promises for when it's up though. As always, thank you for the support!  
> Edit: Minor changes done (Dec 8.) Second edit (All the way up to 2009 or maybe Into Darkness) up during winter holidays! :D

Spock is three years old, when he concludes the reason why his peers will not interact with him as they do with others. He’s five point three one five years old, when he realizes that emotions and impulsive behavior is not condoned. A scraped knee and a weak argument warrant no anger, warrant no tears. He’s five point six zero three years old, when he decides that mother has no relation to how he deserves to be treated.

Jim is five years old, when he realizes that he’s different to the others. He’s got no dad to come to the park with him, only ten-year old Sam who always makes him play the robber when they play cops and robbers. He’s just about five and a half, when he wishes that his dad could be there to hoist him up and give him a ride on his shoulders, so he can see the world the way Sam had told him it had looked – small, distant, as if he was above it all.

* * *

 Spock is five years old, when he realizes that the others will compare him forever. The examination results are up, and Spock is only at fifth place. His mother, as always, is only full of encouragement. Sarek voices no emotion. Five point three one seven years, and Spock decides, gripping his fist tightly enough that his fingernails dig into the flesh, that he won’t let the others believe he is disadvantaged.

Jim is eight years old, when he realizes he’ll be compared to his dad forever. Aunts, teachers, Uncle Chris – everyone says he “bears a striking resemblance” to his dad. His mom always goes silent whenever she hears this, and Jim feels like he’s _wrong_ for being himself. Freshly eight years old, and Jim decides that he’ll be as similar to his dad as he can, so mom will be proud of him.

* * *

 Spock is eight years old, when his peers enact an “experiment” upon him. He knows what the others are attempting to do, and prevents it from “getting” to him, as his mother had advised. When Stonn references mother, and Spock responds physically, temporarily breaking his resolve of a near four years to conform as closely to vulcan mannerisms as possible. Spock is eight years old, when he realizes that he is unique. And, he notes, that his uniqueness is not a handicap.

Jim is eleven years old, when Frank finally tests his patience. He steals the car, chasing after Sam with the most fervor he’s had since his ninth birthday. He miscalculates, and the car shoots past Sam’s weary shoulders. Looking at the edge of the cliff, Jim doesn’t even hesitate for a second as he barrels the car over the edge. He’s not sure what made him jump out, but it’s not his name, nor Frank, nor Sam. Jim is eleven, when he decides that this is his life. And no one, not even his dad, can change it.

* * *

Spock is eighteen, when he realizes that he has other choices. He had chosen to honor the vulcan way. But that did not signify that he was to spend it in vulcan relations. Mother supported his findings. Sarek was… skeptical. But Spock was eighteen point four two eight years old, when he decided that he could cultivate alternate career paths. Stepping out of the gates of the Vulcan Science Academy, Spock feels a strange sense of being  _free_ for the first time in his life. 

  
Jim is fifteen, when he sits at the dusty ruins of the colony. Beside him is Lily, gripping his hand with her clammy, cold ones. Jim’s hands aren’t any warmer, either, but he lets her pale fingers wrap around his blood-caked ones as they sit, waiting for the USS Farragut and Uncle Chris to take him back to Iowa. He’s fifteen years old – at least, he thinks so, because his birthday’s gotten lost somewhere between the time Charlie drew his last shuddering breath in the prison, and Elsie gave one last scream before the spear pierced her stomach. Jim is fifteen, when he realizes that escaping his identity isn’t as easy as packing up and leaving.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA the movies so far. I realized that since Jim was born Jan 4 and Spock Jan 6, assuming that the party was on the 4th Spock would still be 32. So so remedy this, I will come back, hopefully before the year ends, with an epilogue.
> 
> Merry Christmas, this is my gift to the amazing world that is Star Trek, and to my amazing readers. Even if this one (was) my shortest work it received so much support and I'm so grateful for it. thank you so much.

Jim is twenty-two when he fights the cadets at Riverside. He’s not one to stoop down to the level of rudeness coming out of his words, but something about the red uniforms stir up a fight in him. Darkness, loneliness, helplessness. All emotions that George would’ve experienced in his last moments. And all of these people, risking that all over again? There’s fire in their eyes. Illusion that will let everything crumble on the planet they’ve constructed their entire lives at, just for a taste of the stars. When Cadet James Kirk joins Starfleet at twenty-two, it’s not anything that Chris “saw” in him. It’s not anything about following George’s footsteps. It’s about him. It’s about Jim finding his way in the stars–and figuring out his relationship with them.  

Spock is twenty-eight when he loses everything he is. His gut gives one last wrench, as he reacquaints himself with the transporter deck of the enterprise. But nothing will compete the emptiness he feels, taking in the situation. His mother, his family, his world is disintegrating, and for the first time, it’s all Spock can do to return to the chair, and continue his duties on a captain-less flagship on a maiden voyage that turned drastically tragic. Spock is twenty-eight when he’s truly lost.

Jim is twenty-five when he both loses and regains himself. The emotions he felt at Delta Vega was unlike anything else he had felt–the typical loneliness and abandonment, but also a hope that things could improve. Visions of an alternate life, of _stability, respect, love_ – things he’d fought his life for, and things that, with effort, could happen. Watching Nero’s ship disappear through the black hole, Jim can’t decide whether the _Narada_ was the epiphany in his life that he needed or the obstacle that ruined it all. At twenty-five, he’s found a way out.

 

* * *

 

Spock is twenty-nine when he embraces his instincts for the first time. The memories of Admiral Pike’s anger and loneliness at death. The sight of his captain’s life being wrenched away by radiation, his eyes draining of the crystal blue Spock illogically loves. All of these thoughts flash through Spock’s mind as he chases after Khan. For the first time, he’s nearly _glad_ that his phaser is set on stun. When Spock is twenty-six, barely a year after losing Vulcan, he regains the chair in the worst way possible. And maybe he’s not to blame when he beats Khan into losing his consciousness for giving him the chair.  

Jim is twenty-six, when the world takes a jump, then plummets. He’s the golden boy of the Enterprise–and then he’s her unsteady young lover, fighting and failing at protecting her from Starfleet. When Admiral Marcus threatens to destroy his ship, Jim’s mind goes white. Twenty-six years. He can’t let go of the Enterprise. He can’t let go of the only stable _family_ he’s had, now that Pike is dead. So Jim fights, giving anything and everything he can to make sure that at least _everyone else_ will be safe. When he dies at the gate of the warp core, it’s lonely, and terrifying. But it’s also reassuring, that the ship is safe. When Jim is twenty-six, he learns what it is to be _brave_.

 

* * *

 

Jim is thirty, when he watches the battered saucer of his _Enterprise_ tumble down towards Altamid through the window of his Kelvin pod. Somehow, the memory of it all hurts more than any adventure he’s had, any nasty relationship he endured with a black eye. A hull breach taking a handful of ensigns is unfortunate but a job hazard. Losing at least two dozen apiece, with a quarter of them directly sacrificed for the man who broke his ship? Jim thinks, that the memory of seeing his crew, scared and powerless behind the fence, will stick with him forever. The entirety of Altamid is what will make him stay as a Captain – because no amount of respect or honor could replace the thrill of adventure the _Enterprise_ brought him, along with the wonderful, precocious crew he has.

 Especially Spock.

 

Spock is thirty-two when he comes to consciousness in an alien battle vessel, critically wounded. Without the CMO’s knowledge, there is an eighty-four percent chance that he could’ve died. The blood, _his own_ blood, just drying on his uniform and the knowledge of the Ambassador’s death lying heavy in his heart, Spock snatches his Captain’s hand, pulling him into the vessel just before he is ejected out to space along with Krall. The sparks from their...physical contact running in his mind, Spock watches the man catch his breath, his face splotchy and bloodied from fighting Krall.

 _What would I do without you_ , Spock?

The words ring with new meaning, but Spock simply chooses to “stare” at him. Later, he decides against leaving Starfleet. It was what the Ambassador chose, and what Spock himself wants, so he believes it couldn’t be a bad choice. At twenty-two, Spock decides that his life is on the _Enterprise_. After all, standing by Jim during his birthday party, seems _right_ in an illogical but practiced air that the captain always has.


End file.
